Tuesday, 2 February 2010

All in a days work.....or not!

On the 26th March I will join the ranks of the unemployed, for the first time for 17 years. The last time, there was no recession, unemployment was under 1.5 million. However it was more scarier for me then than it is now.


I think its because this time I have experience. You see last time was new ground for me, it had never happened before, I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know what it was going to throw at me.
This time, I have form. I know I'll survive, I know I'll be resourceful, I know I'll be ok.

I don't know what will happen work wise. I know I have a million ideas going round in my head, and I only need one to come good.
Maybe this is an opportunity to do some of the things that I have mused over for years. Maybe some of the wacky ideas my friend Ian and I had over many coffees will come to fruition; albeit I think I'll give the 'running for PM a miss this time'.

Experience is a wonderful commodity to have. There is no substitute for it. The funny thing is, we don't really recognise the learning's and the teachings at the time, its only after the event, when looking back, we see what lessons we have learnt.
I'm not saying I wont have some down days, when the bills hit the floor and there's nothing to pay them (if I haven't found a job quickly), but I know now and I hope I'll remember on those tough days, too 'put it down to experience'

Saturday, 5 September 2009

He's got the whole world in His hands

Wanted to post this link as over these last few weeks when I'm sat the pc working I have this playing repeatedly.


Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Quote most worthy to be requoted

Came across this quote from Anne Frank whilst looking up something for my website.
I think she's right, I think she's very right.

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.

Three's a crowd

'If only....' what a hideous couple of words. It conjures up regret and missed opportunities.

I and my family will forever remember 2009, if 1992 was in Queen Elizabeths words her 'annus horribilis' then 2009 has been for the Pearson family a horrible year I remember saying back in March how much I was looking forward to 2010, a few months on and I wish it were Jools Hollands hogmanay party tonight on the BBC. I've never watched it; kind of put off by the fact its pre filmed, but I think i'd watch it tonight to know this year is over.
The danger of that is that I would be sat with my glass of Port thinking 'If only I had made more of 2009'.

January this year my eldest brother Paul, died. He died and it was that sudden. Whilst he had been ill for many years with asthma, chronic asthma, he died the day after coming out of hospital. He, thankfully, knew he was going to die. He had left a note saying don't call the doctor, he had quite simply had enough. He didn't overdose, the morphine tablets could be accounted for, I think he just knew. In my heart I hope he was prepared, I trust he was prepared. The post mortem showed that he had picked up an infection in hospital and this had been the cause of death. I think Paul's 'If only's' were more out of his control, it would have been 'If only I hadn't been so sick'. He was a clever chap. He had an incredible brain, it was like a photographic memory he had. He passed exams like there was no tomorrow. Sadly as his health deteriorated so did his quality of life. Late last year his eyesight went so poor, that he couldn't watch tv or do anything on the computer.

Seven weeks later my grandfather at the age of 93 passed away. A very Godly man, thrived on evangelism, took every opportunity to spread the gospel, sang hymns to the nurses prayed fervently for the family, said to his wife as she left the hospital, 'Ask Father to take me home tonight.' 'Of course..' she told me after 'I couldn't do it' but grampa got his wish, it was time.
His funeral was a celebration of a full life. He didn't travel the world, he had no OBE, MBE. No medals of honour from the war. He hadn't scored the winning try against England at Cardiff Arms Park, every Welshmans dream. It was a full life in helping, serving, teaching & preaching. He used to walk 16 miles every Sunday evening when he was a young man to support a local chapel. I think grampa had, on the 'if only' Richter scale, very few.

Last week my stepdaughter Chloe at the young age of 20 fell asleep. Here was a young girl, who so very little hope, couldn't cope with adulthood, found the world a sad and desperate place. She had caused herself so much harm in the past, but now she was a different girl. People have told me in the last couple of days, how she had made plans for the immediate future, such as driving lessons, saving up to take her little sister to Disneyland.
This has been hard.
My daughter has been inconsolable and that in itself has been hard to watch. She got on with Chloe like a house on fire, her mum and I were forever trying to put out the flames.
Beth has so so many 'If only's'. If only she hadn't wound her up so much.
I think they were just fine, they were proper sisters, they played pranks as opposed to being nasty to each other. They sqabbled about who should be in the bathroom first, how bad each othes spots were.
The rest of us are left with 'If only...we'd done more.'

Whilst I will miss them all, I want to start erradicating the possibility of ever having to say 'If only'. Its not about being the good samaritan, its not about getting 'brownie' points. Its because James says in chapter 2, just like Nike....'Just do It!'